Blog #10
A typical morning for me goes as follows; wake up, pee, then drink a bottle of watermelon juice as I check emails, Myspace, and now OurChart. It was Saturday morning, the night after Truck Stop and, although, my head was a-pounding, this morning was no exception. I headed upstairs to the kitchen and grabbed my saving grace; one bottle of Evolution Watermelon Juice.
About 6 months had gone by since I moved into the last apartment I was in and, had now, just moved into a House in Weho. I had 2 boy roomies and 1 girl..…all straight. I felt a little funny checking The Chart at the communal laptop we shared in the upstairs office because, as I was still new to this whole lesbian thing and wasn’t entirely sure where it was headed, I failed to mention to them in the interview process that I was gay. Well, mostly because I had only been sure of it myself for a short time. I mean, all signs lead to Gayville but I needed to investigate further before I started using it as a disclaimer when being judged on my roommate worthiness and desirability. I was still figuring this whole thing out. I had all my life been attracted to men and although I was mainly interested in women at this point, I didn’t know how this whole adventure would pan out. Not to mention that I hadn’t, overnight, suddenly been stripped of my desire toward the opposite sex. It’s not like I went to the return isle in the sexuality department of Macy’s and traded in my hetero for homo like an ill-fitted sweater. It occured to me that I might be bi-sexual but who could know for sure?? Not exactly what you want to tell 3 strangers you are trying to rope into letting you live in their awesome house that is 5 minutes away from you work. “Hi, nice to meet you, I love the place…Oh, and by the way did I happen to mention that I am in the middle of a sexual identity crisis??“
No, no, no, I wasn’t about to drop that little jem of a bomb on the first meeting nor was I anxious to reveal my shameless routine of cruising lesbians on some cheesy networking site while drinking juice in my p.j.s. This was still my dirty little secret and I meant to keep it that way for the time being!
So, anyway, back to the pressing matter at hand i.e. my OurChart inbox or rather the thrill that a newly arrived message brought to every once of my being. So on this morning, this Saturday, when I opened my inbox to see a message from Alice I couldn’t have been more curious/ecstatic. There were only a couple pictures to go on but she seemed cute. She sent me a general “hey how’s it going” and mentioned some kind of common interest we had that she had noticed after reading my page. She seemed nice enough so I wrote her back, “What the heck?”’ I thought, it couldn’t hurt!
After initial contact I did the only thing I could do at this point to further investigate this new possible friend; I typed her name into myspace to see if cyber stalking would be a possibility. I needed more pictures to go on. I mean, I would like to think that I could make this connection based solely on the content of her character, but let’s face it, at the end of the day, you need a certain amount of pure physical attraction to keep things going. We were in our 20’s for god’s sake, not middle aged women searching for companionship. I was on the brink of my sexual prime and vain or not, I needed to know who I was dealing with. To my shear delight, her page came right up!
Lot’s and lot’s of pictures to go on and you better believe I looked through every single one. It’s always so hard to tell on these sights, though. It is a fair “given” that most people only post the most flattering pictures they have and just a reminder to all of you that have forgotten (as I know that myspace is like Latin, an outdated and dead medium) that unlike facebook, the only pictures on your page were the ones that YOU posted. None of this tagging non-sense existed at the time in question. So I did as thorough an investigation as I could in my post Friday night, Saturday morning hangover state of mind.
I couldn’t quite tell, she definitely had this sort of nerdy-cute thing happening which I was not opposed to and she seemed quite intelligent which was one more for the “go for it” tally. It also occurred to me that this didn’t have to be some grander than life, love affair that transpired. She could very well be a much needed, much appreciated actual friend. After all, I just had this incredible night with Michelle, not that I was ruling out other possibilities, but I liked her and hoped to see her again, so if Alice wanted to meet up for a drink it was no big deal. I wrote her back letting her know that I was in. I agreed to the meeting with the primary intention being to make a new buddy, what ended up happening, however is a different story all together!
-Lesbian X
Friday, August 20, 2010
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Where to next?
Blog # 9
“You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here”. Final call of the night voiced by bartenders and doormen alike. By 2am every bar in the city is crowed with it’s former patrons roaming aimlessly outside it’s doors asking their friends the aged old question, ”where to next?”And when completely shit faced and desperate, when the 3 to 4 hours of shameless drinking and debauchery are not enough, this question is also directed at pretty much anyone who will answer you back.
Well, this night, when the question was popped, we all decided to head back to Michelle’s place for a night cap and, more importantly, to put our alcohol intake/raging hormones to good use.
We all gathered in the living room trying to be quiet so not to wake Michelle’s roommate. This was impossible as we had all spent waaaaay to much time at the bar and , If I remember correctly, several shots of whiskey had been involved. Besides causing us to scream at several hundred octaves above our normal speaking voices this usually leads to either two things…..sex or food. Now you would think that after all the time I had spent wanting a follow up to my night with Daisy I would have been putting all efforts into sleeping with this girl. However, at the very mention of Chinese food I instantly aborted mission Michelle and was now only interested in one thing….stuffing myself with noodles. Somehow I had left the Sexy Zone entirely and was headed straight toward Fat Kid City.
All the longing and wondering, all the lonely nights spent on the couch in my pjs watching the L Word meant nothing in the face of the greasy left over chow mein that Michelle had in the fridge. And so I ate. I ate and I ate and I ate, and to my ultimate regret those stupid noodles did the exact opposite of what we’d been trying to accomplish all night. In one fell swoop they had entirely erased the $80 worth of booze I had inhaled. In other words I was stone cold sober. Yep…... Crap!
In the cool clear light of sobriety I was still interested in Michelle and definitely wanting to turn things up a notch from the teenage make out session we’d been reenacting all over Truck Stop. However, I suddenly realized that I was grossly unversed as to proper lesbian protocol. Now in the hetero world, the biggest mistake you can make is to sleep with a guy you like on the first date. You’re supposed to hold out until, at least, the third to ensure confidence in your non-slutty status as well as activate their Neanderthal “hunter” instincts. You gotta let them chase you a bit before you give up the goods.Or as my mother would like to think, you save your cookie until marriage.
Women are completely different species though. Women bond at lightning speed and lesbian’s especially have a reputation for combining households on the second date. Woman are natural nest builders, natural homemakers and when a spark ignites between two builders you are bound to find yourself in one immediate and well decorated nest.
All things taken into consideration, I decided it would be in my best interest to head home. It had been a long night….. I came, I saw, I conquered, I ate Chinese food and now I would graciously make my exit. I would need more time to know exactly how a first date should end in this world but, until then, I was going to ride this sober wave and err on the side of caution. When I got home and laid down in bed a sense of peace and wonderment rushed over what was now the new and improved me. This had been quite a journey so far, and I knew it was only the beginning.
-Lesbian X
“You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here”. Final call of the night voiced by bartenders and doormen alike. By 2am every bar in the city is crowed with it’s former patrons roaming aimlessly outside it’s doors asking their friends the aged old question, ”where to next?”And when completely shit faced and desperate, when the 3 to 4 hours of shameless drinking and debauchery are not enough, this question is also directed at pretty much anyone who will answer you back.
Well, this night, when the question was popped, we all decided to head back to Michelle’s place for a night cap and, more importantly, to put our alcohol intake/raging hormones to good use.
We all gathered in the living room trying to be quiet so not to wake Michelle’s roommate. This was impossible as we had all spent waaaaay to much time at the bar and , If I remember correctly, several shots of whiskey had been involved. Besides causing us to scream at several hundred octaves above our normal speaking voices this usually leads to either two things…..sex or food. Now you would think that after all the time I had spent wanting a follow up to my night with Daisy I would have been putting all efforts into sleeping with this girl. However, at the very mention of Chinese food I instantly aborted mission Michelle and was now only interested in one thing….stuffing myself with noodles. Somehow I had left the Sexy Zone entirely and was headed straight toward Fat Kid City.
All the longing and wondering, all the lonely nights spent on the couch in my pjs watching the L Word meant nothing in the face of the greasy left over chow mein that Michelle had in the fridge. And so I ate. I ate and I ate and I ate, and to my ultimate regret those stupid noodles did the exact opposite of what we’d been trying to accomplish all night. In one fell swoop they had entirely erased the $80 worth of booze I had inhaled. In other words I was stone cold sober. Yep…... Crap!
In the cool clear light of sobriety I was still interested in Michelle and definitely wanting to turn things up a notch from the teenage make out session we’d been reenacting all over Truck Stop. However, I suddenly realized that I was grossly unversed as to proper lesbian protocol. Now in the hetero world, the biggest mistake you can make is to sleep with a guy you like on the first date. You’re supposed to hold out until, at least, the third to ensure confidence in your non-slutty status as well as activate their Neanderthal “hunter” instincts. You gotta let them chase you a bit before you give up the goods.Or as my mother would like to think, you save your cookie until marriage.
Women are completely different species though. Women bond at lightning speed and lesbian’s especially have a reputation for combining households on the second date. Woman are natural nest builders, natural homemakers and when a spark ignites between two builders you are bound to find yourself in one immediate and well decorated nest.
All things taken into consideration, I decided it would be in my best interest to head home. It had been a long night….. I came, I saw, I conquered, I ate Chinese food and now I would graciously make my exit. I would need more time to know exactly how a first date should end in this world but, until then, I was going to ride this sober wave and err on the side of caution. When I got home and laid down in bed a sense of peace and wonderment rushed over what was now the new and improved me. This had been quite a journey so far, and I knew it was only the beginning.
-Lesbian X
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Ladies' Night
Blog #8
West Hollywood or WeHo as we like to refer to it is and, I assume, shall forever remain the Mecca of all things gay. Also know as “boys town” because, well…it’s streets are literally crawling with them. Gay men for decades have been flocking to the streets of West Hollywood, strutting their six packs and hard-ons, and tearing it up shirtless in the many bars that line it’s streets. So where are all the lesbians, you might ask?? Excellent question! The gay women of WeHo have, for decades, been tragically reduced to exactly 2 bars in the area. The Normandie Room (which existed at the time but is no-longer) and The Palms which, let’s face it, is not a desirable scene unless you have an affinity to the geriatric. All in all, equating to exactly zero lesbian bars you would ever consider stepping foot in.
So, while the boys have their pick of the litter on any given day, the girls have to gather weekly at which ever “ladies night” happens to be popular. Well, at this time, every lesbian in the tri-state area gathered together at Here bar Friday nights. United, they came to drink, mingle, and ultimately watch the half naked bartenders dance “Coyote Ugly” style atop the center bar.
Michelle and her friends were no exception.
We “strolled in” around 11:30pm which, if you’ve been to Truck Stop, is no easy task. As is at anywhere worth going to in LA, there is always a line. If you don’t have an “in” you either come early or wait impatiently in line and prepare to be exposed as the nobody you are. I hate to say it but lines are for the people they don’t really want in but have to as they will probably be the only ones buying drinks at the bar.
Entering Truck Stop with Michelle was a completely different experience then the last time I’d been there. I wasn’t the same little wall flower that hid in the corner. One by one Michelle introduced me to every girl she knew and she seemed to know EVERYONE. I was making friends left and right, chatting it up, cracking jokes, being one of them! It felt incredible. All my lesbian dreams were now bursting to fruition and the night wasn’t even half over yet. And the best part was Michelle seemed to really like me.
After grabbing another drink (or 2) at the bar, we headed straight for the dance floor. They were way past capacity as usual so Michelle and I were practically smashed up against each other in a seemingly endless sea of women. I don’t know if was the booze or the pure energy of the room but I was overcome with a pressing need to be even closer. I grabbed her cute little face, and as the room appeared to stand still for a moment, I closed my eyes, pressed her lips to mine and kissed her. And again, and again, and again. It all felt so natural, so perfectly in tune to everything I was supposed to be doing. I had been waiting for this kiss, this follow up moment to the night I’d spent with Daisy and here it was happening in way far beyond my wildest dreams.
Everything was perfect, the girl, the music, the night, the kiss, UNTIL…..
Until we got back to her place.
-Lesbian X
West Hollywood or WeHo as we like to refer to it is and, I assume, shall forever remain the Mecca of all things gay. Also know as “boys town” because, well…it’s streets are literally crawling with them. Gay men for decades have been flocking to the streets of West Hollywood, strutting their six packs and hard-ons, and tearing it up shirtless in the many bars that line it’s streets. So where are all the lesbians, you might ask?? Excellent question! The gay women of WeHo have, for decades, been tragically reduced to exactly 2 bars in the area. The Normandie Room (which existed at the time but is no-longer) and The Palms which, let’s face it, is not a desirable scene unless you have an affinity to the geriatric. All in all, equating to exactly zero lesbian bars you would ever consider stepping foot in.
So, while the boys have their pick of the litter on any given day, the girls have to gather weekly at which ever “ladies night” happens to be popular. Well, at this time, every lesbian in the tri-state area gathered together at Here bar Friday nights. United, they came to drink, mingle, and ultimately watch the half naked bartenders dance “Coyote Ugly” style atop the center bar.
Michelle and her friends were no exception.
We “strolled in” around 11:30pm which, if you’ve been to Truck Stop, is no easy task. As is at anywhere worth going to in LA, there is always a line. If you don’t have an “in” you either come early or wait impatiently in line and prepare to be exposed as the nobody you are. I hate to say it but lines are for the people they don’t really want in but have to as they will probably be the only ones buying drinks at the bar.
Entering Truck Stop with Michelle was a completely different experience then the last time I’d been there. I wasn’t the same little wall flower that hid in the corner. One by one Michelle introduced me to every girl she knew and she seemed to know EVERYONE. I was making friends left and right, chatting it up, cracking jokes, being one of them! It felt incredible. All my lesbian dreams were now bursting to fruition and the night wasn’t even half over yet. And the best part was Michelle seemed to really like me.
After grabbing another drink (or 2) at the bar, we headed straight for the dance floor. They were way past capacity as usual so Michelle and I were practically smashed up against each other in a seemingly endless sea of women. I don’t know if was the booze or the pure energy of the room but I was overcome with a pressing need to be even closer. I grabbed her cute little face, and as the room appeared to stand still for a moment, I closed my eyes, pressed her lips to mine and kissed her. And again, and again, and again. It all felt so natural, so perfectly in tune to everything I was supposed to be doing. I had been waiting for this kiss, this follow up moment to the night I’d spent with Daisy and here it was happening in way far beyond my wildest dreams.
Everything was perfect, the girl, the music, the night, the kiss, UNTIL…..
Until we got back to her place.
-Lesbian X
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
So, The Myth Was True......
Blog# 7
So my genius “reply” comment to Michelle had been sent out into the world, or cyber space as the case might be, and soon it would be invading her inbox, begging for approval. Once again, I would just have to sit back and wait to see what happens next. All I could hope for was that it would lead to an actual meeting/date/sex/I‘d settle for a friend. I needed an in to this secret tribe, to this alternative world, and I could tell Michelle was already a full fledged member.
Well long story short, the comment was a hit and eventual gateway to messaging….and the messaging was going well. We had established a connection and it was only a matter of time before we decided to meet face to lesbian face.
This went on for a couple days until one glorious Friday night. She inquired if I would be attending the Friday night girl party at Here Bar in West Hollywood, oh so appropriately named, "Truck Stop“. I had actually been once before to no avail with a couple of my gay boyfriends who insisted I check it out. It was nothing short of a complete and total disaster as I was uncomfortable the entire time. I couldn’t help it, I felt like an outsider....like they were all looking at me and wondering what the hell I was doing there. Like any second I was going to be exposed for the imposter I was and thrown out on the street for crashing their private party. So I did what any other spineless whimp would do; Chalked it up to a loss and headed to Fiesta Cantina across the street to get drunk with the boys.
But that was then and this was now, I might be willing to give that place another shot. Things had changed since then and now I had a greater purpose. I was on a mission of sorts. That’s right, a love mission and this little soldier came to win!
I let Michelle know that I was new to the scene and didn’t really have a crew in tact so she graciously invited me to meet up with hers. We met earlier in the night at El Compadre, an old school Mexican restaurant in Hollywood, and a regular dinner spot of mine. I walked in confidently, I had the home court advantage after all. This was a place I knew well, this was familiar ground and, even better, this was a sexually neutral zone.
I strolled in around 9:30 p.m. and headed over to the table where everyone was already seated. I sized up the booth, took a head count and a deep breath. Five girls were in attendance. That left four other women I had to win over on top of charming my way into Michelle’s pants. Tonight, I was up for the challenge, I had a air of bravado that was lacking in my last Truck Stop experience, this time I had Michelle on my side. Not to mention a shot of tequila I had at home which really seemed to take the edge off….. that had been an excellent idea.
I sat down, relaxed and equipped with positive thinking. These were just lesbians after all not Al Qaeda, how hard could this really be?? The waitress came over and I ordered the house special, a flaming margarita. I needed just a little more amo before I left the trenches and headed into battle.
Armed with a spectacular buzz, I went to work on these ladies. I called upon every last bit of charm I could muster up and forward marched.
In true dyke fashion, two of the girls at the table were Michelle’s ex-girlfriends. One there with her new lady in tow. So the myth was true….huh? I had always thought that was an Urban Legend much like the second date U haul. But there they were, all together on a Friday night sharing a bowl of guacamole and shooting the breeze. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my entire 20 some odd years. All the ingredients for an uncomfortable evening but the crazy thing was we were all having a great time! I was liking these girls and I was definitely cruching on Michelle. If this was any indication of the night to come, I was in for the time of my life!
-Lesbian X
So my genius “reply” comment to Michelle had been sent out into the world, or cyber space as the case might be, and soon it would be invading her inbox, begging for approval. Once again, I would just have to sit back and wait to see what happens next. All I could hope for was that it would lead to an actual meeting/date/sex/I‘d settle for a friend. I needed an in to this secret tribe, to this alternative world, and I could tell Michelle was already a full fledged member.
Well long story short, the comment was a hit and eventual gateway to messaging….and the messaging was going well. We had established a connection and it was only a matter of time before we decided to meet face to lesbian face.
This went on for a couple days until one glorious Friday night. She inquired if I would be attending the Friday night girl party at Here Bar in West Hollywood, oh so appropriately named, "Truck Stop“. I had actually been once before to no avail with a couple of my gay boyfriends who insisted I check it out. It was nothing short of a complete and total disaster as I was uncomfortable the entire time. I couldn’t help it, I felt like an outsider....like they were all looking at me and wondering what the hell I was doing there. Like any second I was going to be exposed for the imposter I was and thrown out on the street for crashing their private party. So I did what any other spineless whimp would do; Chalked it up to a loss and headed to Fiesta Cantina across the street to get drunk with the boys.
But that was then and this was now, I might be willing to give that place another shot. Things had changed since then and now I had a greater purpose. I was on a mission of sorts. That’s right, a love mission and this little soldier came to win!
I let Michelle know that I was new to the scene and didn’t really have a crew in tact so she graciously invited me to meet up with hers. We met earlier in the night at El Compadre, an old school Mexican restaurant in Hollywood, and a regular dinner spot of mine. I walked in confidently, I had the home court advantage after all. This was a place I knew well, this was familiar ground and, even better, this was a sexually neutral zone.
I strolled in around 9:30 p.m. and headed over to the table where everyone was already seated. I sized up the booth, took a head count and a deep breath. Five girls were in attendance. That left four other women I had to win over on top of charming my way into Michelle’s pants. Tonight, I was up for the challenge, I had a air of bravado that was lacking in my last Truck Stop experience, this time I had Michelle on my side. Not to mention a shot of tequila I had at home which really seemed to take the edge off….. that had been an excellent idea.
I sat down, relaxed and equipped with positive thinking. These were just lesbians after all not Al Qaeda, how hard could this really be?? The waitress came over and I ordered the house special, a flaming margarita. I needed just a little more amo before I left the trenches and headed into battle.
Armed with a spectacular buzz, I went to work on these ladies. I called upon every last bit of charm I could muster up and forward marched.
In true dyke fashion, two of the girls at the table were Michelle’s ex-girlfriends. One there with her new lady in tow. So the myth was true….huh? I had always thought that was an Urban Legend much like the second date U haul. But there they were, all together on a Friday night sharing a bowl of guacamole and shooting the breeze. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my entire 20 some odd years. All the ingredients for an uncomfortable evening but the crazy thing was we were all having a great time! I was liking these girls and I was definitely cruching on Michelle. If this was any indication of the night to come, I was in for the time of my life!
-Lesbian X
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