Where to next?

Blog # 9

“You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here”. Final call of the night voiced by bartenders and doormen alike. By 2am every bar in the city is crowed with it’s former patrons roaming aimlessly outside it’s doors asking their friends the aged old question, ”where to next?”And when completely shit faced and desperate, when the 3 to 4 hours of shameless drinking and debauchery are not enough, this question is also directed at pretty much anyone who will answer you back.

Well, this night, when the question was popped, we all decided to head back to Michelle’s place for a night cap and, more importantly, to put our alcohol intake/raging hormones to good use.

We all gathered in the living room trying to be quiet so not to wake Michelle’s roommate. This was impossible as we had all spent waaaaay to much time at the bar and , If I remember correctly, several shots of whiskey had been involved. Besides causing us to scream at several hundred octaves above our normal speaking voices this usually leads to either two things…..sex or food. Now you would think that after all the time I had spent wanting a follow up to my night with Daisy I would have been putting all efforts into sleeping with this girl. However, at the very mention of Chinese food I instantly aborted mission Michelle and was now only interested in one thing….stuffing myself with noodles. Somehow I had left the Sexy Zone entirely and was headed straight toward Fat Kid City.

All the longing and wondering, all the lonely nights spent on the couch in my pjs watching the L Word meant nothing in the face of the greasy left over chow mein that Michelle had in the fridge. And so I ate. I ate and I ate and I ate, and to my ultimate regret those stupid noodles did the exact opposite of what we’d been trying to accomplish all night. In one fell swoop they had entirely erased the $80 worth of booze I had inhaled. In other words I was stone cold sober. Yep…... Crap!

In the cool clear light of sobriety I was still interested in Michelle and definitely wanting to turn things up a notch from the teenage make out session we’d been reenacting all over Truck Stop. However, I suddenly realized that I was grossly unversed as to proper lesbian protocol. Now in the hetero world, the biggest mistake you can make is to sleep with a guy you like on the first date. You’re supposed to hold out until, at least, the third to ensure confidence in your non-slutty status as well as activate their Neanderthal “hunter” instincts. You gotta let them chase you a bit before you give up the goods.Or as my mother would like to think, you save your cookie until marriage.

Women are completely different species though. Women bond at lightning speed and lesbian’s especially have a reputation for combining households on the second date. Woman are natural nest builders, natural homemakers and when a spark ignites between two builders you are bound to find yourself in one immediate and well decorated nest.
All things taken into consideration, I decided it would be in my best interest to head home. It had been a long night….. I came, I saw, I conquered, I ate Chinese food and now I would graciously make my exit. I would need more time to know exactly how a first date should end in this world but, until then, I was going to ride this sober wave and err on the side of caution. When I got home and laid down in bed a sense of peace and wonderment rushed over what was now the new and improved me. This had been quite a journey so far, and I knew it was only the beginning.

-Lesbian X