The Eagle

Blog # 13

Persistence. There is something to be said about persistence in general. Mostly, that it is the key to success on any measure. In the game of LOVE, it is virtually essential. Alice had it in spades. After a whirlwind first date, she had played it cool for exactly 5 seconds and then started in again. Her persistency, however, was met equally with a confidence unlike any I’d seen for quite sometime and, just to be clear, this was not arrogance disguised as confidence as is so commonly the case. This was pure bravado brought forth by someone that knew their faults but also recognized their strengths and the fact they greatly outweighed any little flaws here and there. In a town where even the best of the best still feel they’ll never measure up, never be beautiful enough, will never be deserving of love, this girl had none of that bullshit floating around her head and, lemme tell you, it was so refreshing. She asked to see me again and I was all for it……I could use a little old fashion bravado in my life.

We met up for date number two and headed out to The Eagle in Silverlake to meet up with some of her friends. Now, The Eagle, for those of you that are unfamiliar, is not your typical queer bar. It is a full on, no apologies, in your face, boys in studded chokers, BEAR BAR. Odd place for a bunch of dykes to meet up for a drink but they did have a pool table. And if there’s one thing a lesbian likes, even more than drama, it’s a good game of pool. I have to admit I was a bit nervous walking in. You never know with these girls and their circles. Lesbians travel in pacts and from tribe to tribe you will find that those pacts are small and tight knit. New comers are not always welcomed and if you stood any chance in hell, you better be bringing something good to the party.

As we walked in I spotted her friends right off the bat. Not hard to do in a room full of shirtless men in leather chaps. We strolled over to the pool table where they were already mid game and Alice introduced me to some of her clan. I met Lexie, her sometimes lesbian but mostly straight best friend, and then Laurie and her new girlfriend, Rona.

These girls were ALL HOT! Not just pretty, HOTT. Like BAD-ASS HOTT. They were like some old school, all-girl motorcycle gang with their tattoos and leather jackets and cool hair cuts. I noticed that my jaw was dangling just below the floor….I mean, I was practically drooling. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, these were the girls of my dreams/everything I always wished I was. All my Joan Jett childhood fantasies came racing into my head and it was as if I was 12 years old again watching the “I Love Rock n’ Roll” video on Mtv (when Mtv actually played them).

I felt so completely lame in comparison. I was a little out of my league here but I couldn’t just stand there staring at them like crazy person so I politely said my “hello’s” and tried to think fast. The last thing I wanted them to do was sense my sheer and utter panic at how desperately nerdy I was….lesbian’s are like wild animals, they can smell the fear. I really wanted to make a good impression so I had to think quickly....hmmmm, maybe tequila? Yeaaaah, TEQUILA!! Tequila might be the best way!! I offered up a round of shots at the bar on me as I figured that’s what a cool, all-girl, motorcycle gang would drink…..turns out I was right on the money. Pheeeew!

Liquored up and now miles more at ease, I was starting to enjoy myself. I had managed to distract them from the looming fact that I was kind of a giant dork when out of nowhere I was asked to join in for a game of pool.

Oh God! Oh NO….Not pool….. Crap!!! I had just won them over with a shot of cheap booze. Why, dear Lord, did they have to ask me to play? I could feel the sweat starting to bead up on my forehead. You’d think they’d just asked me to join them in armed robbery not an innocent game of doubles. What the hell???? How was I supposed to compete with them at pool? These girls were probably hanging out in pool halls when I was at home playing with my Barbie dream house and My Little Ponies. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if there was an actual lobe in their brain designated to provide all things necessary for coolness. They were like demi-gods and playing pool just came naturally to them like breathing would for rest of us mere mortals sharing their planet. Sweet Jesus, how was I going to get out of this one without total, annihilating humiliation??


I turned to Alice with what I can only imagine to be a combing look of confusion, nausea and evil plotting. I had an overwhelming impulse to throw my drink up in the air and run for the hills but let’s face it, how do you recover from a move like that? I would forever be known as that weird girl who ran out crying like a mad woman at the mere suggestion of a game of pool. What kind of a lunatic behaves that way? I was not a lunaitc!! A little intimidated, maybe. Slightly drunk and overly dramatic, YES! What else could I do other than smile and say to the group, “Sure! Sounds like fun”.

Like a true gallant Alice graciously guided me through the finer points of the game, as she herself was quite a good player. I surprised myself at how not completely awful I was. I even sank a ball or two. In fact, I was actually liking this game. My competitive spirit came out to play and low and behold we won!! All thanks to Alice, mind you, but technically, I was on the winning team and damnit, it felt good!

As the night wound up it was time to go and, reluctantly, I said goodbye to her friends. I really liked these girls. Sure, I had a tiny, little, internal meltdown at one point but that was ancient history by now. I had held it together and eventually overcame and ended up having a really fun night! Alice had been adorable throughout and, although, I was crushing on pretty much every new girl I met, I couldn’t wait to go home with her.

We went back to her place and in continuation of the wonderful night we‘d had together, made love. It felt real this time. I felt in charge. The night I’d spent with Daisy was silly and fun, but this was something more. This felt like the start of something special yet a true homecoming at the same time. And when we were finished there was no question of whether or not I would stay the night; no worry in my mind that we had rushed things. This felt like exactly where I was supposed to be. Anything we did from this point on would be together. As in true lesbian fashion, by the second date she was already mine and I hers.

-Lesbian X