The Palms

Blog #12

In true, new found “lesbian in demand” status, I woke the morning following my date with Alice thinking one thing……"hmmmm, I wonder what Michelle is doing today? Better yet, what‘s up with that girl, Maria, she introduced me to the other night and how bummed would she be if I got her number?” I was beginning to understand why the life form that seems to flourish around groups of women (better known as DRAMA) existed in such high volumes. Was I starting to think like a man? While tapping into the more masculine side of myself was I subsequently tapping into a male’s innate sensibilities (i.e. wanting to spread their seed and screw as many girls humanly possible)? I wasn’t sure if this was a gay thing, or if the newness of it all had invaded my sense of boundaries and pushed them back a football field or two. All I knew was that I couldn’t wait to see what would happen next and with whom!

I sent Michelle a text asking what she was up to for the day and she told me to come visit her at work. She had a side job bartending at The Palms on Sundays. This was too bizarre to pass up and so I decided to head over at once.

As I mentioned before, The Palms was the oldest and (now) the ONLY lesbian bar that existed in West Hollywood. Everywhere else was either mixed or predominately men. Now, being that it is the only all-girls-all-the-time bar in LA, you would think that it would be crawling with women…….this could not be farther from the truth. In fact, at any given time, there is an average of about 3 women in attendance, all of whom are sweating through the hot flashes of menopause. And let me tell you, not only are these not the cute, trendy, 20 something lesbians you’d expect to find roaming around WeHo but these are some tough-ass, butched out, woman in their 50’s and 60’s, and if you spend 5 minutes talking to them, you’ll find, the pioneers and trailblazers of our community. They were the soldiers on the front line of gay rights. These woman are rough around the edges but for good reason. They came from a completely different, non-accepting generation where if you were brave enough to be an “out” lesbian, you had to have a thick skin and a presence that said to the world, “you don’t have to agree with my lifestyle but you sure as hell better keep it to yourself if you know what’s good for you”. It was what these women had to wear in protection from the ignorant world at large like a modern day suit of armor. I have nothing but respect for these ladies. It took balls of steel to come out in their day and, although, I admire them greatly and have enjoyed many an informing conversation with them, it was not an inviting venue to spend a vivacious Sunday afternoon in. It was a beautiful day out. Most people would be sipping on mixed-berry martinis at the Abby. I, however, was headed to The Palms…… a virtual retirement community, a dark cave where lesbians went to die.

I rolled up to Santa Monica Blvd and, surprise, surprise, there was ample parking right in front. I strolled into the bar and walked inside but I felt more like I was walking into a time warp. The place was about as dimly lit as you could comfortably make it, I almost expected to see a family of bats hanging upside down in the corner. Out of my left peripheral view I spotted an older lady sitting alone at the bar playing one of those video gaming machines. Eh hem…..what did I tell you! I panned slightly to the right and spotted Michelle behind the bar. She was so out of place in this scene and I liked her all the more for it! To my sheer and utter delight, as I panned even further to the right I noticed Maria sitting at the bar as well. Um…whoa, ask and ye shall receive. This was the girl we had hung out with a bit at Truck Stop and the girl I had formed an immediate, all mind you, totally inappropriate crush on . She was the good friend and, as I was about to learn, Ex-GF, of Michelle from a couple years back. I had been hoping to run into her again, although, preferably, not while I was coming to hit on Michelle …….but ,hey, I guess beggars can’t be choosers. I took a seat next to Maria and Michelle poured me a drink. Though, I'm not sure how convincing I was, I tried the best I could to hide my, seriously, growing infatuation for Maria as the three of us drank and shot the breeze. Michelle was an amazing girl, and, don’t get me wrong, I was definitely still very much interested in getting to know her but, I have to admit, I was wildly attracted to her friend.

When I asked how they knew each other (I was hoping it wasn’t very well) Michelle preceded to pull out a napkin and pen to draw me a little map in explanation. She wrote down a few names and then connected them with dots and lines as she went through the line up of how she and Maria were connected. Wait a second!!!! I know this game, it was straight off an episode of the L Word. This was “The Chart”!! She explained how they had been friends, and then dated until Michelle took off with another girl at Dinah Shore Weekend leaving Maria in the dust. This had, as they all seem to eventually do in these lesbian circles, ended up with the two of them becoming better friends for it. Oh man, this was going to take some getting used to for me. So, not only were they best friends now but they had been in love at one point in time, which screamed to me, "fat chance of hopping ship and sailing off into the sunset with the ships bff."

As the day went on I found myself liking Maria more and more, but Michelle was definitely holding her own. I was new to the scene and wanting to make some friends so I decided that hitting on Maria would be a serious step in the wrong direction. I didn’t want to get a sleezy reputation, at least not this soon in the game so I pulled back my focus and sent it shooting back towards Michelle. I really liked hanging out with these girls and who knows what would happen in the future with Maria, but, for now, I would have to settle on just being fiends.

-Lesbian X