The Introduction

Blog #19

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, four. Hiding from Alice all night had taken it’s toll and I was looking for a bit of relief at the bottom of a shot glass. Miraculously, I seemed to find exactly what I was looking for. All the anxiety and guilt I felt washed clean away and, just like magic, I was back in the game ready to take on this place. I had no idea what Alice was up to downstairs and now I didn’t care.

Riding that wave of intoxication, Katie and I headed to the dance floor, which, I must add, was not only a good space to bust a move but, simultaneously, provided me with safe cover. DJ Saratonin was spinning all my favorite guilty pleasure dance beats and, in a much needed release, we danced our drunken, gay asses off. Finally, I was having a good time. Finally, I got to experience the thrill that this new freedom provided me. Finally, no Alice, no drama, just me and my friend dancing our cares away.

As I looked around the room to take inventory of any possible prospects, I noticed someone staring at me from a far. I focused in to see who it was but I didn’t recognize her. Hmm……a lesbian I didn’t know yet?? Definite Plus! I couldn’t tell though, was this girl checking me out?? Was I getting cruised?? God, I hoped so. I smiled in her general direction on the slim chance that I was, nothing to obvious, just a friendly grin to move things along and that seemed to be about all she needed. Before I could even tell if she was cute or ask Katie for a second opinion, this girl was heading right towards me!!

“Would you like to dance”, she asked

With my tequila eyes I gave this chick the once over. My inspection was half-assed. I was mid-euphoric status and my elation had taken precedent over any silly little details. Hot or not, neither here nor there as far as I was concerned. The high I was riding left absolutely no room for any negative forms of thought. Everything sounded like a good idea, and consequently, at this point, so did anyone.

Would I?? Yes please!

I looked over both my shoulders to see if the coast was clear. Alice was nowhere in sight, thank god. I was not in the mood for a scene right now and this was just the kind of thing that would set her off.

All systems a-go, she grabbed my hand and led me to the middle of the dance floor. “Just perfect” I thought, the chances of Alice finding me this deep in the crowd are slim to none!

As we pushed our way through the girls to the first piece of empty space we could find, a sort of realization came over me. This was the first girl to touch me since Alice came along. I mean we were only holding hands, sure, but this was the first time some other girl besides her had me in their grips with the intention of something sexual. I decided to roll with it, after all, that was why I had come wasn’t it? That was the whole reason I had been hiding out from Alice all night…..the freedom to do exactly this. It was a notion I decided to store in the back of my mind with the rest of my neurosis. Right now I was going to dance with this girl, whoever she was.

I have to say, she really knew how to move. I usually ride solo on the dance floor but something about the rhythm of our bodies were tune. I mean, we were in perfect sync!! We got closer and closer and in almost no time at all, and without even knowing her name, she was all over me. Truth be told, at the moment, I couldn’t have been more pleased about that. I was feeling good, I was feeling free, I was feeling like I could stay in this moment forever.

Alice, on the other hand, was going to let it go on for exactly two more seconds. Before I knew it, I spotted my Ex storming across the dance floor like a wild animal charging towards it’s next victim. It was dark but, even so, I could still spot the intensity and ferocity in her piercing eyes.

“Oh shit” is all I managed to get out before she reached us. I didn’t know whether to laugh or be afraid for our lives. We were just dancing for god’s sake, albeit, practically on top of each other, but I was single, damnit!! Not only was she not my girlfriend anymore but she had cheated on me, admittedly! You'd think that would entitle me to a little dance here and there but, clearly, in Alice’s mind, it most certainly did not.

She pushed her way in between us and stuck her hand out to my dance partner as she introduced herself.

“Hi, I’m Alice, who the hell are you??”

I didn’t even give the girl a chance to respond. Alice may have pushed her way in between us but what she had really just done was push me straight into this girl’s arms. If I was feeling hesitant before, if the nostalgia of all that we had shared was sitting in the back of my mind waiting to pop up and stop me from taking things any further, it was now officially gone. My rage at her audacity had now completely taken over. In protest to her sheer lack of respect for my personal space, I let myself be inconsiderate of her feelings for once and left her heart-broken on the dance floor. As my new date and I walked away, I turned and looked back to see Alice standing alone. Abandoned and defeated. And at that moment, I didn’t care.

-Lesbian X