The Comment

Blog #6

So like I said, I may not have struck gold right away, but I think the lesbian gods were watching over me in my new venture as at least one or two girls accepted my OurChart friend request. Halleluiah! What I intended to do once they accepted, however, was beyond me. I really hadn’t thought it out that far….Whoops. Then, out of no where, one of my “new friends” who we’ll call, Michelle, oh so gallantly took the reigns and, quite frankly, in my opinion, upped the ante! Michelle had done the unthinkable. She out right requested my attendance on her Myspace page. What?? Wow! The privacy and single sexdom of the Chart was one thing, but MYSPACE.!!?? Now that was a different story all together. That was taking things to a whole other level. Our interactions and flirty comments would be there in black and white (or what ever color she happened to have to pimped her profile out to) for all friends; hetero and homo sexual to see.

Now I had just realized that I was definitely into girls but what I hadn’t quite yet determined was what I was going to say to my friends, which is odd because I live in an extremely progressive city. Los Angeles was a city where anything goes. Where as long as you’re either attractive, rich or famous you could pretty much get away with anything. A city who’s main source of survival was the entertainment industry and if you weren’t gay you were practically a minority. So why was I so concerned with what other people might think? Was it my Christian upbringing? No way, I never really bought into to any of that crap anyway. Was it my parent’s attitude toward the gay community? I don’t know? They certainly weren’t homophobic to my knowledge but I guess it’s a different matter when it’s your own child, right? Then why was I a little scared to mention this new found revelation to my nearest and dearest?

This need for secrecy, I decided, was something that was of no use or good to me at this point in time AND an issue I would have to explore in therapy at a later date. I’ll let a shrink figure my bullshit out, right now I have some lesbian tail to chase. This girl was cute and I would be crazy not to go for it. This was the big time and I wasn’t about to shy away now. I pressed “accept” wholeheartedly with an ”I don’t care who knows I ‘m gay” shield held up proudly in front of my American Apparel Deep V. Tag you’re it!

And so I waited…it was her turn to make the next move or at least I was too chicken. Then one afternoon, I casually logged into my account ….and there it was...... A Myspace comment!!! Michelle had done her part and then some. And it was funny!! I was equal parts amused and panicked. It all seemed so simple to the un-trained eye. Just comment her back, you idiot! But I knew that this was far more complicated. If I ever wanted see her outside of cyber space I had to see her wit and raise her one wildly charming reply. I turned the matter over to the right side of my brain and searched it’s contents for the perfect retort. Thanks to Coffee Bean and the soy vanilla latte I’d just inhaled, my brain was moving at lightning speed. All of a sudden it came to me.... I had the winning reply. It was simple but perfect and so, proudly, I typed it into the designated box. With a new found sense of pride and certainty I moved the cursor over and pressed “send“. Mission accomplished, if this didn’t get me a date I didn’t know what would.