Blog # 13
Persistence. There is something to be said about persistence in general. Mostly, that it is the key to success on any measure. In the game of LOVE, it is virtually essential. Alice had it in spades. After a whirlwind first date, she had played it cool for exactly 5 seconds and then started in again. Her persistency, however, was met equally with a confidence unlike any I’d seen for quite sometime and, just to be clear, this was not arrogance disguised as confidence as is so commonly the case. This was pure bravado brought forth by someone that knew their faults but also recognized their strengths and the fact they greatly outweighed any little flaws here and there. In a town where even the best of the best still feel they’ll never measure up, never be beautiful enough, will never be deserving of love, this girl had none of that bullshit floating around her head and, lemme tell you, it was so refreshing. She asked to see me again and I was all for it……I could use a little old fashion bravado in my life.
We met up for date number two and headed out to The Eagle in Silverlake to meet up with some of her friends. Now, The Eagle, for those of you that are unfamiliar, is not your typical queer bar. It is a full on, no apologies, in your face, boys in studded chokers, BEAR BAR. Odd place for a bunch of dykes to meet up for a drink but they did have a pool table. And if there’s one thing a lesbian likes, even more than drama, it’s a good game of pool. I have to admit I was a bit nervous walking in. You never know with these girls and their circles. Lesbians travel in pacts and from tribe to tribe you will find that those pacts are small and tight knit. New comers are not always welcomed and if you stood any chance in hell, you better be bringing something good to the party.
As we walked in I spotted her friends right off the bat. Not hard to do in a room full of shirtless men in leather chaps. We strolled over to the pool table where they were already mid game and Alice introduced me to some of her clan. I met Lexie, her sometimes lesbian but mostly straight best friend, and then Laurie and her new girlfriend, Rona.
These girls were ALL HOT! Not just pretty, HOTT. Like BAD-ASS HOTT. They were like some old school, all-girl motorcycle gang with their tattoos and leather jackets and cool hair cuts. I noticed that my jaw was dangling just below the floor….I mean, I was practically drooling. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing, these were the girls of my dreams/everything I always wished I was. All my Joan Jett childhood fantasies came racing into my head and it was as if I was 12 years old again watching the “I Love Rock n’ Roll” video on Mtv (when Mtv actually played them).
I felt so completely lame in comparison. I was a little out of my league here but I couldn’t just stand there staring at them like crazy person so I politely said my “hello’s” and tried to think fast. The last thing I wanted them to do was sense my sheer and utter panic at how desperately nerdy I was….lesbian’s are like wild animals, they can smell the fear. I really wanted to make a good impression so I had to think quickly....hmmmm, maybe tequila? Yeaaaah, TEQUILA!! Tequila might be the best way!! I offered up a round of shots at the bar on me as I figured that’s what a cool, all-girl, motorcycle gang would drink…..turns out I was right on the money. Pheeeew!
Liquored up and now miles more at ease, I was starting to enjoy myself. I had managed to distract them from the looming fact that I was kind of a giant dork when out of nowhere I was asked to join in for a game of pool.
Oh God! Oh NO….Not pool….. Crap!!! I had just won them over with a shot of cheap booze. Why, dear Lord, did they have to ask me to play? I could feel the sweat starting to bead up on my forehead. You’d think they’d just asked me to join them in armed robbery not an innocent game of doubles. What the hell???? How was I supposed to compete with them at pool? These girls were probably hanging out in pool halls when I was at home playing with my Barbie dream house and My Little Ponies. In fact I wouldn’t be surprised if there was an actual lobe in their brain designated to provide all things necessary for coolness. They were like demi-gods and playing pool just came naturally to them like breathing would for rest of us mere mortals sharing their planet. Sweet Jesus, how was I going to get out of this one without total, annihilating humiliation??
I turned to Alice with what I can only imagine to be a combing look of confusion, nausea and evil plotting. I had an overwhelming impulse to throw my drink up in the air and run for the hills but let’s face it, how do you recover from a move like that? I would forever be known as that weird girl who ran out crying like a mad woman at the mere suggestion of a game of pool. What kind of a lunatic behaves that way? I was not a lunaitc!! A little intimidated, maybe. Slightly drunk and overly dramatic, YES! What else could I do other than smile and say to the group, “Sure! Sounds like fun”.
Like a true gallant Alice graciously guided me through the finer points of the game, as she herself was quite a good player. I surprised myself at how not completely awful I was. I even sank a ball or two. In fact, I was actually liking this game. My competitive spirit came out to play and low and behold we won!! All thanks to Alice, mind you, but technically, I was on the winning team and damnit, it felt good!
As the night wound up it was time to go and, reluctantly, I said goodbye to her friends. I really liked these girls. Sure, I had a tiny, little, internal meltdown at one point but that was ancient history by now. I had held it together and eventually overcame and ended up having a really fun night! Alice had been adorable throughout and, although, I was crushing on pretty much every new girl I met, I couldn’t wait to go home with her.
We went back to her place and in continuation of the wonderful night we‘d had together, made love. It felt real this time. I felt in charge. The night I’d spent with Daisy was silly and fun, but this was something more. This felt like the start of something special yet a true homecoming at the same time. And when we were finished there was no question of whether or not I would stay the night; no worry in my mind that we had rushed things. This felt like exactly where I was supposed to be. Anything we did from this point on would be together. As in true lesbian fashion, by the second date she was already mine and I hers.
-Lesbian X
Sunday, September 26, 2010
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
The Palms
Blog #12
In true, new found “lesbian in demand” status, I woke the morning following my date with Alice thinking one thing……"hmmmm, I wonder what Michelle is doing today? Better yet, what‘s up with that girl, Maria, she introduced me to the other night and how bummed would she be if I got her number?” I was beginning to understand why the life form that seems to flourish around groups of women (better known as DRAMA) existed in such high volumes. Was I starting to think like a man? While tapping into the more masculine side of myself was I subsequently tapping into a male’s innate sensibilities (i.e. wanting to spread their seed and screw as many girls humanly possible)? I wasn’t sure if this was a gay thing, or if the newness of it all had invaded my sense of boundaries and pushed them back a football field or two. All I knew was that I couldn’t wait to see what would happen next and with whom!
I sent Michelle a text asking what she was up to for the day and she told me to come visit her at work. She had a side job bartending at The Palms on Sundays. This was too bizarre to pass up and so I decided to head over at once.
As I mentioned before, The Palms was the oldest and (now) the ONLY lesbian bar that existed in West Hollywood. Everywhere else was either mixed or predominately men. Now, being that it is the only all-girls-all-the-time bar in LA, you would think that it would be crawling with women…….this could not be farther from the truth. In fact, at any given time, there is an average of about 3 women in attendance, all of whom are sweating through the hot flashes of menopause. And let me tell you, not only are these not the cute, trendy, 20 something lesbians you’d expect to find roaming around WeHo but these are some tough-ass, butched out, woman in their 50’s and 60’s, and if you spend 5 minutes talking to them, you’ll find, the pioneers and trailblazers of our community. They were the soldiers on the front line of gay rights. These woman are rough around the edges but for good reason. They came from a completely different, non-accepting generation where if you were brave enough to be an “out” lesbian, you had to have a thick skin and a presence that said to the world, “you don’t have to agree with my lifestyle but you sure as hell better keep it to yourself if you know what’s good for you”. It was what these women had to wear in protection from the ignorant world at large like a modern day suit of armor. I have nothing but respect for these ladies. It took balls of steel to come out in their day and, although, I admire them greatly and have enjoyed many an informing conversation with them, it was not an inviting venue to spend a vivacious Sunday afternoon in. It was a beautiful day out. Most people would be sipping on mixed-berry martinis at the Abby. I, however, was headed to The Palms…… a virtual retirement community, a dark cave where lesbians went to die.
I rolled up to Santa Monica Blvd and, surprise, surprise, there was ample parking right in front. I strolled into the bar and walked inside but I felt more like I was walking into a time warp. The place was about as dimly lit as you could comfortably make it, I almost expected to see a family of bats hanging upside down in the corner. Out of my left peripheral view I spotted an older lady sitting alone at the bar playing one of those video gaming machines. Eh hem…..what did I tell you! I panned slightly to the right and spotted Michelle behind the bar. She was so out of place in this scene and I liked her all the more for it! To my sheer and utter delight, as I panned even further to the right I noticed Maria sitting at the bar as well. Um…whoa, ask and ye shall receive. This was the girl we had hung out with a bit at Truck Stop and the girl I had formed an immediate, all mind you, totally inappropriate crush on . She was the good friend and, as I was about to learn, Ex-GF, of Michelle from a couple years back. I had been hoping to run into her again, although, preferably, not while I was coming to hit on Michelle …….but ,hey, I guess beggars can’t be choosers. I took a seat next to Maria and Michelle poured me a drink. Though, I'm not sure how convincing I was, I tried the best I could to hide my, seriously, growing infatuation for Maria as the three of us drank and shot the breeze. Michelle was an amazing girl, and, don’t get me wrong, I was definitely still very much interested in getting to know her but, I have to admit, I was wildly attracted to her friend.
When I asked how they knew each other (I was hoping it wasn’t very well) Michelle preceded to pull out a napkin and pen to draw me a little map in explanation. She wrote down a few names and then connected them with dots and lines as she went through the line up of how she and Maria were connected. Wait a second!!!! I know this game, it was straight off an episode of the L Word. This was “The Chart”!! She explained how they had been friends, and then dated until Michelle took off with another girl at Dinah Shore Weekend leaving Maria in the dust. This had, as they all seem to eventually do in these lesbian circles, ended up with the two of them becoming better friends for it. Oh man, this was going to take some getting used to for me. So, not only were they best friends now but they had been in love at one point in time, which screamed to me, "fat chance of hopping ship and sailing off into the sunset with the ships bff."
As the day went on I found myself liking Maria more and more, but Michelle was definitely holding her own. I was new to the scene and wanting to make some friends so I decided that hitting on Maria would be a serious step in the wrong direction. I didn’t want to get a sleezy reputation, at least not this soon in the game so I pulled back my focus and sent it shooting back towards Michelle. I really liked hanging out with these girls and who knows what would happen in the future with Maria, but, for now, I would have to settle on just being fiends.
-Lesbian X
In true, new found “lesbian in demand” status, I woke the morning following my date with Alice thinking one thing……"hmmmm, I wonder what Michelle is doing today? Better yet, what‘s up with that girl, Maria, she introduced me to the other night and how bummed would she be if I got her number?” I was beginning to understand why the life form that seems to flourish around groups of women (better known as DRAMA) existed in such high volumes. Was I starting to think like a man? While tapping into the more masculine side of myself was I subsequently tapping into a male’s innate sensibilities (i.e. wanting to spread their seed and screw as many girls humanly possible)? I wasn’t sure if this was a gay thing, or if the newness of it all had invaded my sense of boundaries and pushed them back a football field or two. All I knew was that I couldn’t wait to see what would happen next and with whom!
I sent Michelle a text asking what she was up to for the day and she told me to come visit her at work. She had a side job bartending at The Palms on Sundays. This was too bizarre to pass up and so I decided to head over at once.
As I mentioned before, The Palms was the oldest and (now) the ONLY lesbian bar that existed in West Hollywood. Everywhere else was either mixed or predominately men. Now, being that it is the only all-girls-all-the-time bar in LA, you would think that it would be crawling with women…….this could not be farther from the truth. In fact, at any given time, there is an average of about 3 women in attendance, all of whom are sweating through the hot flashes of menopause. And let me tell you, not only are these not the cute, trendy, 20 something lesbians you’d expect to find roaming around WeHo but these are some tough-ass, butched out, woman in their 50’s and 60’s, and if you spend 5 minutes talking to them, you’ll find, the pioneers and trailblazers of our community. They were the soldiers on the front line of gay rights. These woman are rough around the edges but for good reason. They came from a completely different, non-accepting generation where if you were brave enough to be an “out” lesbian, you had to have a thick skin and a presence that said to the world, “you don’t have to agree with my lifestyle but you sure as hell better keep it to yourself if you know what’s good for you”. It was what these women had to wear in protection from the ignorant world at large like a modern day suit of armor. I have nothing but respect for these ladies. It took balls of steel to come out in their day and, although, I admire them greatly and have enjoyed many an informing conversation with them, it was not an inviting venue to spend a vivacious Sunday afternoon in. It was a beautiful day out. Most people would be sipping on mixed-berry martinis at the Abby. I, however, was headed to The Palms…… a virtual retirement community, a dark cave where lesbians went to die.
I rolled up to Santa Monica Blvd and, surprise, surprise, there was ample parking right in front. I strolled into the bar and walked inside but I felt more like I was walking into a time warp. The place was about as dimly lit as you could comfortably make it, I almost expected to see a family of bats hanging upside down in the corner. Out of my left peripheral view I spotted an older lady sitting alone at the bar playing one of those video gaming machines. Eh hem…..what did I tell you! I panned slightly to the right and spotted Michelle behind the bar. She was so out of place in this scene and I liked her all the more for it! To my sheer and utter delight, as I panned even further to the right I noticed Maria sitting at the bar as well. Um…whoa, ask and ye shall receive. This was the girl we had hung out with a bit at Truck Stop and the girl I had formed an immediate, all mind you, totally inappropriate crush on . She was the good friend and, as I was about to learn, Ex-GF, of Michelle from a couple years back. I had been hoping to run into her again, although, preferably, not while I was coming to hit on Michelle …….but ,hey, I guess beggars can’t be choosers. I took a seat next to Maria and Michelle poured me a drink. Though, I'm not sure how convincing I was, I tried the best I could to hide my, seriously, growing infatuation for Maria as the three of us drank and shot the breeze. Michelle was an amazing girl, and, don’t get me wrong, I was definitely still very much interested in getting to know her but, I have to admit, I was wildly attracted to her friend.
When I asked how they knew each other (I was hoping it wasn’t very well) Michelle preceded to pull out a napkin and pen to draw me a little map in explanation. She wrote down a few names and then connected them with dots and lines as she went through the line up of how she and Maria were connected. Wait a second!!!! I know this game, it was straight off an episode of the L Word. This was “The Chart”!! She explained how they had been friends, and then dated until Michelle took off with another girl at Dinah Shore Weekend leaving Maria in the dust. This had, as they all seem to eventually do in these lesbian circles, ended up with the two of them becoming better friends for it. Oh man, this was going to take some getting used to for me. So, not only were they best friends now but they had been in love at one point in time, which screamed to me, "fat chance of hopping ship and sailing off into the sunset with the ships bff."
As the day went on I found myself liking Maria more and more, but Michelle was definitely holding her own. I was new to the scene and wanting to make some friends so I decided that hitting on Maria would be a serious step in the wrong direction. I didn’t want to get a sleezy reputation, at least not this soon in the game so I pulled back my focus and sent it shooting back towards Michelle. I really liked hanging out with these girls and who knows what would happen in the future with Maria, but, for now, I would have to settle on just being fiends.
-Lesbian X
Monday, September 6, 2010
The First Date
Blog # 11
"So what’ya say", Alice said via messaging in her usual confident and intoxicating way...."should we go for a drink"?. I couldn't help myself....I just had to meet this girl in person and see what her deal was with my own eyes. I was secretly loving the fact that now I had 2 girls vying for my attention and if Alice wanted to buy me a drink and introduce me to new friends...who was I to say no?? We decided to meet up by her place at Good Luck bar in Los Feliz. I was hoping the namesake rang true of the night to be....I was going to need it! I was brand new to this whole internet dating madness and although Michelle had worked out in my favor, I wasn't quite sure that my batting average would sustain date number 2? I mean, how many worthy advocates can one meet off a cheesy lesbian dating site? Well, I for one was dying to find out. I headed up from West Hollywood to the east side in search of the answer.
As I walked into the bar, I did a quick scan of the joint….it was dark but empty enough to see clearly that she had not arrived. Normally, I would rather be the one to make the grand entrance. This is key on many levels. The main reason being a little tip I learned along the way, not to be forgotten or taken lightly:
This saves you from having a complete “first date” mental breakdown.
This saves you from being the one to sit nervously at the bar alone, staring at the time and checking your cell phone feverishly for any updates as to why your date would suddenly not be arriving. For every minute that goes by the paranoid fantasies graduate from just plain rudeness to freak accident on the 101 to tortuous and untimely death at the hands of terrorists! Who needed that kind of stress? Tonight, however, as I was unsure to what degree I would be into this girl, I was willing to endure this horrifying ritual at the cost of
one imperative “first date” move. I needed to be the one to buy HER a drink.
Now there are several situations in which you would buy someone a drink.
1) You want to sleep with them and feel like the $9 you cough up should entitle you as such.
2) You’re friend bought the last round
3) You are already drunk and for some reason think it’s an awesome idea to then extend the offer of a tasty beverage to everyone in your direct line of view.
4) You’re a chump
OR
5) You’re just not that into them and want to clear your conscious of any reason why you should not escape out the bathroom window and meet up with your friends at the bar down the street instead.
Truth be told, I wanted to reserve my right to put reason #5 into full effect should my date be a total disaster.
So, as I took a seat at the bar, I sent Alice a text requesting her poison and, post reply, ordered two whisky sodas. It was a risky move, I know. I would either come off as being utterly cool and considerate, or this would paint me as way too eager for my own good. Tonight, this was a risk I was willing to take.
It didn’t take long for Alice to arrive after that. Promptness, I dig that in a lady. She spotted me right away and strolled over casually to take a seat next to me at the bar. She had a cool, confident strut that immediately put me at ease. I may have had no idea what I was doing but Alice seemed to have handle on the situation and if there was any bit of nervousness in her body what-so-ever, I couldn’t detect an ounce.
As she pulled up a stool, I was suddenly washed over with an annoying yet ever prevalent wave of “first date” insecurity panic. Out of nowhere, my every fault/blemish/wardrobe choice was spread out on the chopping block for her to inspect and judge at will. Although, five minutes ago I was plotting my exit strategy, I was now, suddenly, desperate for her to find me completely beautiful and amazing. Oh man, this was my ego talking. NO, this was my ego taking over and running a muck. This was me being an irrational nut case and allowing all my “issues” to go racing to the surface. This was me being a total “chick” …and I had to put a stop to it ASAP!
I reminded myself to breathe as there was clearly a lack of oxygen flowing to my brain. I did not come all the way down here to berate myself. I came here to have a cocktail with a, seemingly, very nice, fellow human being. I talked myself off the ledge and came dashing back to reality. “This for me?” she asked with a smile? Her smile, once again, put me totally at ease. I slid over the drink and took a sip of my own. Her presence was oddly calming and I felt all the weight of all my anxiety lift off my shoulders. I liked her right away. There was an undeniable connection with Alice that I hadn’t felt in a long time. She was smart, cute, engaging, and she managed to put all my bullshit to rest without even knowing it! Score one for Alice…….Michelle who???
-Lesbian X
"So what’ya say", Alice said via messaging in her usual confident and intoxicating way...."should we go for a drink"?. I couldn't help myself....I just had to meet this girl in person and see what her deal was with my own eyes. I was secretly loving the fact that now I had 2 girls vying for my attention and if Alice wanted to buy me a drink and introduce me to new friends...who was I to say no?? We decided to meet up by her place at Good Luck bar in Los Feliz. I was hoping the namesake rang true of the night to be....I was going to need it! I was brand new to this whole internet dating madness and although Michelle had worked out in my favor, I wasn't quite sure that my batting average would sustain date number 2? I mean, how many worthy advocates can one meet off a cheesy lesbian dating site? Well, I for one was dying to find out. I headed up from West Hollywood to the east side in search of the answer.
As I walked into the bar, I did a quick scan of the joint….it was dark but empty enough to see clearly that she had not arrived. Normally, I would rather be the one to make the grand entrance. This is key on many levels. The main reason being a little tip I learned along the way, not to be forgotten or taken lightly:
This saves you from having a complete “first date” mental breakdown.
This saves you from being the one to sit nervously at the bar alone, staring at the time and checking your cell phone feverishly for any updates as to why your date would suddenly not be arriving. For every minute that goes by the paranoid fantasies graduate from just plain rudeness to freak accident on the 101 to tortuous and untimely death at the hands of terrorists! Who needed that kind of stress? Tonight, however, as I was unsure to what degree I would be into this girl, I was willing to endure this horrifying ritual at the cost of
one imperative “first date” move. I needed to be the one to buy HER a drink.
Now there are several situations in which you would buy someone a drink.
1) You want to sleep with them and feel like the $9 you cough up should entitle you as such.
2) You’re friend bought the last round
3) You are already drunk and for some reason think it’s an awesome idea to then extend the offer of a tasty beverage to everyone in your direct line of view.
4) You’re a chump
OR
5) You’re just not that into them and want to clear your conscious of any reason why you should not escape out the bathroom window and meet up with your friends at the bar down the street instead.
Truth be told, I wanted to reserve my right to put reason #5 into full effect should my date be a total disaster.
So, as I took a seat at the bar, I sent Alice a text requesting her poison and, post reply, ordered two whisky sodas. It was a risky move, I know. I would either come off as being utterly cool and considerate, or this would paint me as way too eager for my own good. Tonight, this was a risk I was willing to take.
It didn’t take long for Alice to arrive after that. Promptness, I dig that in a lady. She spotted me right away and strolled over casually to take a seat next to me at the bar. She had a cool, confident strut that immediately put me at ease. I may have had no idea what I was doing but Alice seemed to have handle on the situation and if there was any bit of nervousness in her body what-so-ever, I couldn’t detect an ounce.
As she pulled up a stool, I was suddenly washed over with an annoying yet ever prevalent wave of “first date” insecurity panic. Out of nowhere, my every fault/blemish/wardrobe choice was spread out on the chopping block for her to inspect and judge at will. Although, five minutes ago I was plotting my exit strategy, I was now, suddenly, desperate for her to find me completely beautiful and amazing. Oh man, this was my ego talking. NO, this was my ego taking over and running a muck. This was me being an irrational nut case and allowing all my “issues” to go racing to the surface. This was me being a total “chick” …and I had to put a stop to it ASAP!
I reminded myself to breathe as there was clearly a lack of oxygen flowing to my brain. I did not come all the way down here to berate myself. I came here to have a cocktail with a, seemingly, very nice, fellow human being. I talked myself off the ledge and came dashing back to reality. “This for me?” she asked with a smile? Her smile, once again, put me totally at ease. I slid over the drink and took a sip of my own. Her presence was oddly calming and I felt all the weight of all my anxiety lift off my shoulders. I liked her right away. There was an undeniable connection with Alice that I hadn’t felt in a long time. She was smart, cute, engaging, and she managed to put all my bullshit to rest without even knowing it! Score one for Alice…….Michelle who???
-Lesbian X
Friday, August 20, 2010
The Other Woman....
Blog #10
A typical morning for me goes as follows; wake up, pee, then drink a bottle of watermelon juice as I check emails, Myspace, and now OurChart. It was Saturday morning, the night after Truck Stop and, although, my head was a-pounding, this morning was no exception. I headed upstairs to the kitchen and grabbed my saving grace; one bottle of Evolution Watermelon Juice.
About 6 months had gone by since I moved into the last apartment I was in and, had now, just moved into a House in Weho. I had 2 boy roomies and 1 girl..…all straight. I felt a little funny checking The Chart at the communal laptop we shared in the upstairs office because, as I was still new to this whole lesbian thing and wasn’t entirely sure where it was headed, I failed to mention to them in the interview process that I was gay. Well, mostly because I had only been sure of it myself for a short time. I mean, all signs lead to Gayville but I needed to investigate further before I started using it as a disclaimer when being judged on my roommate worthiness and desirability. I was still figuring this whole thing out. I had all my life been attracted to men and although I was mainly interested in women at this point, I didn’t know how this whole adventure would pan out. Not to mention that I hadn’t, overnight, suddenly been stripped of my desire toward the opposite sex. It’s not like I went to the return isle in the sexuality department of Macy’s and traded in my hetero for homo like an ill-fitted sweater. It occured to me that I might be bi-sexual but who could know for sure?? Not exactly what you want to tell 3 strangers you are trying to rope into letting you live in their awesome house that is 5 minutes away from you work. “Hi, nice to meet you, I love the place…Oh, and by the way did I happen to mention that I am in the middle of a sexual identity crisis??“
No, no, no, I wasn’t about to drop that little jem of a bomb on the first meeting nor was I anxious to reveal my shameless routine of cruising lesbians on some cheesy networking site while drinking juice in my p.j.s. This was still my dirty little secret and I meant to keep it that way for the time being!
So, anyway, back to the pressing matter at hand i.e. my OurChart inbox or rather the thrill that a newly arrived message brought to every once of my being. So on this morning, this Saturday, when I opened my inbox to see a message from Alice I couldn’t have been more curious/ecstatic. There were only a couple pictures to go on but she seemed cute. She sent me a general “hey how’s it going” and mentioned some kind of common interest we had that she had noticed after reading my page. She seemed nice enough so I wrote her back, “What the heck?”’ I thought, it couldn’t hurt!
After initial contact I did the only thing I could do at this point to further investigate this new possible friend; I typed her name into myspace to see if cyber stalking would be a possibility. I needed more pictures to go on. I mean, I would like to think that I could make this connection based solely on the content of her character, but let’s face it, at the end of the day, you need a certain amount of pure physical attraction to keep things going. We were in our 20’s for god’s sake, not middle aged women searching for companionship. I was on the brink of my sexual prime and vain or not, I needed to know who I was dealing with. To my shear delight, her page came right up!
Lot’s and lot’s of pictures to go on and you better believe I looked through every single one. It’s always so hard to tell on these sights, though. It is a fair “given” that most people only post the most flattering pictures they have and just a reminder to all of you that have forgotten (as I know that myspace is like Latin, an outdated and dead medium) that unlike facebook, the only pictures on your page were the ones that YOU posted. None of this tagging non-sense existed at the time in question. So I did as thorough an investigation as I could in my post Friday night, Saturday morning hangover state of mind.
I couldn’t quite tell, she definitely had this sort of nerdy-cute thing happening which I was not opposed to and she seemed quite intelligent which was one more for the “go for it” tally. It also occurred to me that this didn’t have to be some grander than life, love affair that transpired. She could very well be a much needed, much appreciated actual friend. After all, I just had this incredible night with Michelle, not that I was ruling out other possibilities, but I liked her and hoped to see her again, so if Alice wanted to meet up for a drink it was no big deal. I wrote her back letting her know that I was in. I agreed to the meeting with the primary intention being to make a new buddy, what ended up happening, however is a different story all together!
-Lesbian X
A typical morning for me goes as follows; wake up, pee, then drink a bottle of watermelon juice as I check emails, Myspace, and now OurChart. It was Saturday morning, the night after Truck Stop and, although, my head was a-pounding, this morning was no exception. I headed upstairs to the kitchen and grabbed my saving grace; one bottle of Evolution Watermelon Juice.
About 6 months had gone by since I moved into the last apartment I was in and, had now, just moved into a House in Weho. I had 2 boy roomies and 1 girl..…all straight. I felt a little funny checking The Chart at the communal laptop we shared in the upstairs office because, as I was still new to this whole lesbian thing and wasn’t entirely sure where it was headed, I failed to mention to them in the interview process that I was gay. Well, mostly because I had only been sure of it myself for a short time. I mean, all signs lead to Gayville but I needed to investigate further before I started using it as a disclaimer when being judged on my roommate worthiness and desirability. I was still figuring this whole thing out. I had all my life been attracted to men and although I was mainly interested in women at this point, I didn’t know how this whole adventure would pan out. Not to mention that I hadn’t, overnight, suddenly been stripped of my desire toward the opposite sex. It’s not like I went to the return isle in the sexuality department of Macy’s and traded in my hetero for homo like an ill-fitted sweater. It occured to me that I might be bi-sexual but who could know for sure?? Not exactly what you want to tell 3 strangers you are trying to rope into letting you live in their awesome house that is 5 minutes away from you work. “Hi, nice to meet you, I love the place…Oh, and by the way did I happen to mention that I am in the middle of a sexual identity crisis??“
No, no, no, I wasn’t about to drop that little jem of a bomb on the first meeting nor was I anxious to reveal my shameless routine of cruising lesbians on some cheesy networking site while drinking juice in my p.j.s. This was still my dirty little secret and I meant to keep it that way for the time being!
So, anyway, back to the pressing matter at hand i.e. my OurChart inbox or rather the thrill that a newly arrived message brought to every once of my being. So on this morning, this Saturday, when I opened my inbox to see a message from Alice I couldn’t have been more curious/ecstatic. There were only a couple pictures to go on but she seemed cute. She sent me a general “hey how’s it going” and mentioned some kind of common interest we had that she had noticed after reading my page. She seemed nice enough so I wrote her back, “What the heck?”’ I thought, it couldn’t hurt!
After initial contact I did the only thing I could do at this point to further investigate this new possible friend; I typed her name into myspace to see if cyber stalking would be a possibility. I needed more pictures to go on. I mean, I would like to think that I could make this connection based solely on the content of her character, but let’s face it, at the end of the day, you need a certain amount of pure physical attraction to keep things going. We were in our 20’s for god’s sake, not middle aged women searching for companionship. I was on the brink of my sexual prime and vain or not, I needed to know who I was dealing with. To my shear delight, her page came right up!
Lot’s and lot’s of pictures to go on and you better believe I looked through every single one. It’s always so hard to tell on these sights, though. It is a fair “given” that most people only post the most flattering pictures they have and just a reminder to all of you that have forgotten (as I know that myspace is like Latin, an outdated and dead medium) that unlike facebook, the only pictures on your page were the ones that YOU posted. None of this tagging non-sense existed at the time in question. So I did as thorough an investigation as I could in my post Friday night, Saturday morning hangover state of mind.
I couldn’t quite tell, she definitely had this sort of nerdy-cute thing happening which I was not opposed to and she seemed quite intelligent which was one more for the “go for it” tally. It also occurred to me that this didn’t have to be some grander than life, love affair that transpired. She could very well be a much needed, much appreciated actual friend. After all, I just had this incredible night with Michelle, not that I was ruling out other possibilities, but I liked her and hoped to see her again, so if Alice wanted to meet up for a drink it was no big deal. I wrote her back letting her know that I was in. I agreed to the meeting with the primary intention being to make a new buddy, what ended up happening, however is a different story all together!
-Lesbian X
Saturday, August 14, 2010
Where to next?
Blog # 9
“You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here”. Final call of the night voiced by bartenders and doormen alike. By 2am every bar in the city is crowed with it’s former patrons roaming aimlessly outside it’s doors asking their friends the aged old question, ”where to next?”And when completely shit faced and desperate, when the 3 to 4 hours of shameless drinking and debauchery are not enough, this question is also directed at pretty much anyone who will answer you back.
Well, this night, when the question was popped, we all decided to head back to Michelle’s place for a night cap and, more importantly, to put our alcohol intake/raging hormones to good use.
We all gathered in the living room trying to be quiet so not to wake Michelle’s roommate. This was impossible as we had all spent waaaaay to much time at the bar and , If I remember correctly, several shots of whiskey had been involved. Besides causing us to scream at several hundred octaves above our normal speaking voices this usually leads to either two things…..sex or food. Now you would think that after all the time I had spent wanting a follow up to my night with Daisy I would have been putting all efforts into sleeping with this girl. However, at the very mention of Chinese food I instantly aborted mission Michelle and was now only interested in one thing….stuffing myself with noodles. Somehow I had left the Sexy Zone entirely and was headed straight toward Fat Kid City.
All the longing and wondering, all the lonely nights spent on the couch in my pjs watching the L Word meant nothing in the face of the greasy left over chow mein that Michelle had in the fridge. And so I ate. I ate and I ate and I ate, and to my ultimate regret those stupid noodles did the exact opposite of what we’d been trying to accomplish all night. In one fell swoop they had entirely erased the $80 worth of booze I had inhaled. In other words I was stone cold sober. Yep…... Crap!
In the cool clear light of sobriety I was still interested in Michelle and definitely wanting to turn things up a notch from the teenage make out session we’d been reenacting all over Truck Stop. However, I suddenly realized that I was grossly unversed as to proper lesbian protocol. Now in the hetero world, the biggest mistake you can make is to sleep with a guy you like on the first date. You’re supposed to hold out until, at least, the third to ensure confidence in your non-slutty status as well as activate their Neanderthal “hunter” instincts. You gotta let them chase you a bit before you give up the goods.Or as my mother would like to think, you save your cookie until marriage.
Women are completely different species though. Women bond at lightning speed and lesbian’s especially have a reputation for combining households on the second date. Woman are natural nest builders, natural homemakers and when a spark ignites between two builders you are bound to find yourself in one immediate and well decorated nest.
All things taken into consideration, I decided it would be in my best interest to head home. It had been a long night….. I came, I saw, I conquered, I ate Chinese food and now I would graciously make my exit. I would need more time to know exactly how a first date should end in this world but, until then, I was going to ride this sober wave and err on the side of caution. When I got home and laid down in bed a sense of peace and wonderment rushed over what was now the new and improved me. This had been quite a journey so far, and I knew it was only the beginning.
-Lesbian X
“You don’t have to go home but you can’t stay here”. Final call of the night voiced by bartenders and doormen alike. By 2am every bar in the city is crowed with it’s former patrons roaming aimlessly outside it’s doors asking their friends the aged old question, ”where to next?”And when completely shit faced and desperate, when the 3 to 4 hours of shameless drinking and debauchery are not enough, this question is also directed at pretty much anyone who will answer you back.
Well, this night, when the question was popped, we all decided to head back to Michelle’s place for a night cap and, more importantly, to put our alcohol intake/raging hormones to good use.
We all gathered in the living room trying to be quiet so not to wake Michelle’s roommate. This was impossible as we had all spent waaaaay to much time at the bar and , If I remember correctly, several shots of whiskey had been involved. Besides causing us to scream at several hundred octaves above our normal speaking voices this usually leads to either two things…..sex or food. Now you would think that after all the time I had spent wanting a follow up to my night with Daisy I would have been putting all efforts into sleeping with this girl. However, at the very mention of Chinese food I instantly aborted mission Michelle and was now only interested in one thing….stuffing myself with noodles. Somehow I had left the Sexy Zone entirely and was headed straight toward Fat Kid City.
All the longing and wondering, all the lonely nights spent on the couch in my pjs watching the L Word meant nothing in the face of the greasy left over chow mein that Michelle had in the fridge. And so I ate. I ate and I ate and I ate, and to my ultimate regret those stupid noodles did the exact opposite of what we’d been trying to accomplish all night. In one fell swoop they had entirely erased the $80 worth of booze I had inhaled. In other words I was stone cold sober. Yep…... Crap!
In the cool clear light of sobriety I was still interested in Michelle and definitely wanting to turn things up a notch from the teenage make out session we’d been reenacting all over Truck Stop. However, I suddenly realized that I was grossly unversed as to proper lesbian protocol. Now in the hetero world, the biggest mistake you can make is to sleep with a guy you like on the first date. You’re supposed to hold out until, at least, the third to ensure confidence in your non-slutty status as well as activate their Neanderthal “hunter” instincts. You gotta let them chase you a bit before you give up the goods.Or as my mother would like to think, you save your cookie until marriage.
Women are completely different species though. Women bond at lightning speed and lesbian’s especially have a reputation for combining households on the second date. Woman are natural nest builders, natural homemakers and when a spark ignites between two builders you are bound to find yourself in one immediate and well decorated nest.
All things taken into consideration, I decided it would be in my best interest to head home. It had been a long night….. I came, I saw, I conquered, I ate Chinese food and now I would graciously make my exit. I would need more time to know exactly how a first date should end in this world but, until then, I was going to ride this sober wave and err on the side of caution. When I got home and laid down in bed a sense of peace and wonderment rushed over what was now the new and improved me. This had been quite a journey so far, and I knew it was only the beginning.
-Lesbian X
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
Ladies' Night
Blog #8
West Hollywood or WeHo as we like to refer to it is and, I assume, shall forever remain the Mecca of all things gay. Also know as “boys town” because, well…it’s streets are literally crawling with them. Gay men for decades have been flocking to the streets of West Hollywood, strutting their six packs and hard-ons, and tearing it up shirtless in the many bars that line it’s streets. So where are all the lesbians, you might ask?? Excellent question! The gay women of WeHo have, for decades, been tragically reduced to exactly 2 bars in the area. The Normandie Room (which existed at the time but is no-longer) and The Palms which, let’s face it, is not a desirable scene unless you have an affinity to the geriatric. All in all, equating to exactly zero lesbian bars you would ever consider stepping foot in.
So, while the boys have their pick of the litter on any given day, the girls have to gather weekly at which ever “ladies night” happens to be popular. Well, at this time, every lesbian in the tri-state area gathered together at Here bar Friday nights. United, they came to drink, mingle, and ultimately watch the half naked bartenders dance “Coyote Ugly” style atop the center bar.
Michelle and her friends were no exception.
We “strolled in” around 11:30pm which, if you’ve been to Truck Stop, is no easy task. As is at anywhere worth going to in LA, there is always a line. If you don’t have an “in” you either come early or wait impatiently in line and prepare to be exposed as the nobody you are. I hate to say it but lines are for the people they don’t really want in but have to as they will probably be the only ones buying drinks at the bar.
Entering Truck Stop with Michelle was a completely different experience then the last time I’d been there. I wasn’t the same little wall flower that hid in the corner. One by one Michelle introduced me to every girl she knew and she seemed to know EVERYONE. I was making friends left and right, chatting it up, cracking jokes, being one of them! It felt incredible. All my lesbian dreams were now bursting to fruition and the night wasn’t even half over yet. And the best part was Michelle seemed to really like me.
After grabbing another drink (or 2) at the bar, we headed straight for the dance floor. They were way past capacity as usual so Michelle and I were practically smashed up against each other in a seemingly endless sea of women. I don’t know if was the booze or the pure energy of the room but I was overcome with a pressing need to be even closer. I grabbed her cute little face, and as the room appeared to stand still for a moment, I closed my eyes, pressed her lips to mine and kissed her. And again, and again, and again. It all felt so natural, so perfectly in tune to everything I was supposed to be doing. I had been waiting for this kiss, this follow up moment to the night I’d spent with Daisy and here it was happening in way far beyond my wildest dreams.
Everything was perfect, the girl, the music, the night, the kiss, UNTIL…..
Until we got back to her place.
-Lesbian X
West Hollywood or WeHo as we like to refer to it is and, I assume, shall forever remain the Mecca of all things gay. Also know as “boys town” because, well…it’s streets are literally crawling with them. Gay men for decades have been flocking to the streets of West Hollywood, strutting their six packs and hard-ons, and tearing it up shirtless in the many bars that line it’s streets. So where are all the lesbians, you might ask?? Excellent question! The gay women of WeHo have, for decades, been tragically reduced to exactly 2 bars in the area. The Normandie Room (which existed at the time but is no-longer) and The Palms which, let’s face it, is not a desirable scene unless you have an affinity to the geriatric. All in all, equating to exactly zero lesbian bars you would ever consider stepping foot in.
So, while the boys have their pick of the litter on any given day, the girls have to gather weekly at which ever “ladies night” happens to be popular. Well, at this time, every lesbian in the tri-state area gathered together at Here bar Friday nights. United, they came to drink, mingle, and ultimately watch the half naked bartenders dance “Coyote Ugly” style atop the center bar.
Michelle and her friends were no exception.
We “strolled in” around 11:30pm which, if you’ve been to Truck Stop, is no easy task. As is at anywhere worth going to in LA, there is always a line. If you don’t have an “in” you either come early or wait impatiently in line and prepare to be exposed as the nobody you are. I hate to say it but lines are for the people they don’t really want in but have to as they will probably be the only ones buying drinks at the bar.
Entering Truck Stop with Michelle was a completely different experience then the last time I’d been there. I wasn’t the same little wall flower that hid in the corner. One by one Michelle introduced me to every girl she knew and she seemed to know EVERYONE. I was making friends left and right, chatting it up, cracking jokes, being one of them! It felt incredible. All my lesbian dreams were now bursting to fruition and the night wasn’t even half over yet. And the best part was Michelle seemed to really like me.
After grabbing another drink (or 2) at the bar, we headed straight for the dance floor. They were way past capacity as usual so Michelle and I were practically smashed up against each other in a seemingly endless sea of women. I don’t know if was the booze or the pure energy of the room but I was overcome with a pressing need to be even closer. I grabbed her cute little face, and as the room appeared to stand still for a moment, I closed my eyes, pressed her lips to mine and kissed her. And again, and again, and again. It all felt so natural, so perfectly in tune to everything I was supposed to be doing. I had been waiting for this kiss, this follow up moment to the night I’d spent with Daisy and here it was happening in way far beyond my wildest dreams.
Everything was perfect, the girl, the music, the night, the kiss, UNTIL…..
Until we got back to her place.
-Lesbian X
Tuesday, August 3, 2010
So, The Myth Was True......
Blog# 7
So my genius “reply” comment to Michelle had been sent out into the world, or cyber space as the case might be, and soon it would be invading her inbox, begging for approval. Once again, I would just have to sit back and wait to see what happens next. All I could hope for was that it would lead to an actual meeting/date/sex/I‘d settle for a friend. I needed an in to this secret tribe, to this alternative world, and I could tell Michelle was already a full fledged member.
Well long story short, the comment was a hit and eventual gateway to messaging….and the messaging was going well. We had established a connection and it was only a matter of time before we decided to meet face to lesbian face.
This went on for a couple days until one glorious Friday night. She inquired if I would be attending the Friday night girl party at Here Bar in West Hollywood, oh so appropriately named, "Truck Stop“. I had actually been once before to no avail with a couple of my gay boyfriends who insisted I check it out. It was nothing short of a complete and total disaster as I was uncomfortable the entire time. I couldn’t help it, I felt like an outsider....like they were all looking at me and wondering what the hell I was doing there. Like any second I was going to be exposed for the imposter I was and thrown out on the street for crashing their private party. So I did what any other spineless whimp would do; Chalked it up to a loss and headed to Fiesta Cantina across the street to get drunk with the boys.
But that was then and this was now, I might be willing to give that place another shot. Things had changed since then and now I had a greater purpose. I was on a mission of sorts. That’s right, a love mission and this little soldier came to win!
I let Michelle know that I was new to the scene and didn’t really have a crew in tact so she graciously invited me to meet up with hers. We met earlier in the night at El Compadre, an old school Mexican restaurant in Hollywood, and a regular dinner spot of mine. I walked in confidently, I had the home court advantage after all. This was a place I knew well, this was familiar ground and, even better, this was a sexually neutral zone.
I strolled in around 9:30 p.m. and headed over to the table where everyone was already seated. I sized up the booth, took a head count and a deep breath. Five girls were in attendance. That left four other women I had to win over on top of charming my way into Michelle’s pants. Tonight, I was up for the challenge, I had a air of bravado that was lacking in my last Truck Stop experience, this time I had Michelle on my side. Not to mention a shot of tequila I had at home which really seemed to take the edge off….. that had been an excellent idea.
I sat down, relaxed and equipped with positive thinking. These were just lesbians after all not Al Qaeda, how hard could this really be?? The waitress came over and I ordered the house special, a flaming margarita. I needed just a little more amo before I left the trenches and headed into battle.
Armed with a spectacular buzz, I went to work on these ladies. I called upon every last bit of charm I could muster up and forward marched.
In true dyke fashion, two of the girls at the table were Michelle’s ex-girlfriends. One there with her new lady in tow. So the myth was true….huh? I had always thought that was an Urban Legend much like the second date U haul. But there they were, all together on a Friday night sharing a bowl of guacamole and shooting the breeze. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my entire 20 some odd years. All the ingredients for an uncomfortable evening but the crazy thing was we were all having a great time! I was liking these girls and I was definitely cruching on Michelle. If this was any indication of the night to come, I was in for the time of my life!
-Lesbian X
So my genius “reply” comment to Michelle had been sent out into the world, or cyber space as the case might be, and soon it would be invading her inbox, begging for approval. Once again, I would just have to sit back and wait to see what happens next. All I could hope for was that it would lead to an actual meeting/date/sex/I‘d settle for a friend. I needed an in to this secret tribe, to this alternative world, and I could tell Michelle was already a full fledged member.
Well long story short, the comment was a hit and eventual gateway to messaging….and the messaging was going well. We had established a connection and it was only a matter of time before we decided to meet face to lesbian face.
This went on for a couple days until one glorious Friday night. She inquired if I would be attending the Friday night girl party at Here Bar in West Hollywood, oh so appropriately named, "Truck Stop“. I had actually been once before to no avail with a couple of my gay boyfriends who insisted I check it out. It was nothing short of a complete and total disaster as I was uncomfortable the entire time. I couldn’t help it, I felt like an outsider....like they were all looking at me and wondering what the hell I was doing there. Like any second I was going to be exposed for the imposter I was and thrown out on the street for crashing their private party. So I did what any other spineless whimp would do; Chalked it up to a loss and headed to Fiesta Cantina across the street to get drunk with the boys.
But that was then and this was now, I might be willing to give that place another shot. Things had changed since then and now I had a greater purpose. I was on a mission of sorts. That’s right, a love mission and this little soldier came to win!
I let Michelle know that I was new to the scene and didn’t really have a crew in tact so she graciously invited me to meet up with hers. We met earlier in the night at El Compadre, an old school Mexican restaurant in Hollywood, and a regular dinner spot of mine. I walked in confidently, I had the home court advantage after all. This was a place I knew well, this was familiar ground and, even better, this was a sexually neutral zone.
I strolled in around 9:30 p.m. and headed over to the table where everyone was already seated. I sized up the booth, took a head count and a deep breath. Five girls were in attendance. That left four other women I had to win over on top of charming my way into Michelle’s pants. Tonight, I was up for the challenge, I had a air of bravado that was lacking in my last Truck Stop experience, this time I had Michelle on my side. Not to mention a shot of tequila I had at home which really seemed to take the edge off….. that had been an excellent idea.
I sat down, relaxed and equipped with positive thinking. These were just lesbians after all not Al Qaeda, how hard could this really be?? The waitress came over and I ordered the house special, a flaming margarita. I needed just a little more amo before I left the trenches and headed into battle.
Armed with a spectacular buzz, I went to work on these ladies. I called upon every last bit of charm I could muster up and forward marched.
In true dyke fashion, two of the girls at the table were Michelle’s ex-girlfriends. One there with her new lady in tow. So the myth was true….huh? I had always thought that was an Urban Legend much like the second date U haul. But there they were, all together on a Friday night sharing a bowl of guacamole and shooting the breeze. It was unlike anything I had ever experienced in my entire 20 some odd years. All the ingredients for an uncomfortable evening but the crazy thing was we were all having a great time! I was liking these girls and I was definitely cruching on Michelle. If this was any indication of the night to come, I was in for the time of my life!
-Lesbian X
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